Chapter 5: I’m With the Band (Groupies)

Any romantic notion of groupies as sexual pioneers dissipated decades ago, but I’ve certainly seen them hanging around backstage, making eyes at the boys in the band. There was that foxy blonde in Arizona who was wearing overalls and panties, but nothing else, showing off a lot of tanned skin for the boys in Social Distortion. There were the girls hanging around outside The Daily Show studio, waiting to meet Third Eye Blind singer Stephan Jenkins. When they complained they couldn’t get backstage at concerts, Jenkins told them that they could if they really wanted to, but declined to explain how. The secret answer, of course, was “suck off a roadie or three.” Some bands in recent years aren’t particularly pleased by the notion of their fans buying backstage access with their bodies; most don’t lay down the law with the road crew, for fear of a mutiny in the ranks. That’s why I once saw a roadie at an arena concert with a pertinent USA Today article clipped and pasted inside his flight case: “Statutory rape: a look at laws state by state.”