I was listening to Kid Rock’s “Cowboy,” and I wondered—what are the right reasons to open an escort service?
The line is Rock’s fantasy about life on the West Coast: after rhyming “scotch” with “crotch,” he distills his pimp aspirations: “open an escort service for all the right reasons / And set up shop at the top of the Four Seasons.” Asked what the right reasons for opening an escort service are, Rock has not responded with noble claims of helping wayward girls or reducing chlamydia outbreaks, but rather, “Awww. That’s just a silly line. There’s no deep thought process behind it. To get paid. To make money. Isn’t that what everything is the right reason for?” Not to overanalyze a comedic line, but: it’s interesting how little space there is in Kid Rock’s world between the right reasons and the wrong reasons.
(Excerpted from the 2006 book Is Tiny Dancer Really Elton’s Little John?: Music’s Most Enduring Mysteries, Myths, and Rumors Revealed, published by Three Rivers Press, written by Gavin Edwards.)