Chapter 2: Get Ur Freak On (Sex Lives of the Stars)

Here’s the logistical problem with having an active sex life on tour: generally speaking, the band’s bus rolls out of town around midnight, an hour or so after the show’s over. (To save on hotel-room bills, most rock groups just sleep in their bunks while the bus rolls down the highway to the next city.) So if you’re looking to score with a lithesome young local, you either have to work extremely quickly or convince her that although she’s parked her car in Detroit, she really wants to wake up in Milwaukee.

I once witnessed Rivers Cuomo of Weezer throw caution to the wind in the pursuit of post-show nookie (this was on the Pinkerton tour, long before he even contemplated a vow of celibacy). We sat in a club’s basement dressing room chatting idly about drugs (his management wouldn’t give him any), and then his head snapped up. “Fuck!” he shouted. “I’m sitting here dicking around and all the girls are escaping!” He ran up the stairs in pursuit of the escaping girls, and apparently he netted one, because not long after, the band and road crew watched him head back into his Holiday Inn with her.

“Rivers just got here.”

“Does he have some hot little number?”

“She’s not really hot. She’s not even Asian.”

“Man, he’s slipping.”

Time passed and it became clear that Cuomo wasn’t emerging from that hotel room. After a nervous phone call back to the West Coast management office, the road manager ultimately told the bus driver to move out. Cuomo made the show the following evening, but it required his buying a plane ticket to St. Louis.

  1. Did Rod Stewart really get rushed to a hospital emergency room one night to get his stomach pumped after giving too many blowjobs?
  2. Did Mick Jagger write “Angie” for Angela Bowie to calm her down after she caught him and David Bowie in bed together?
  3. What’s an Arab strap, anyway?
  4. I’ve heard the stories about white panties, but I need the real deal–what did Elvis Presley like in bed?
  5. What porn movie did the sample in 2 Live Crew’s “Me So Horny” come from?
  6. What’s the story with Bebe Buell? Are Elvis Costello’s late-70s albums really about her?
  7. Who are the best-endowed male rock stars?
  8. Was Marvin Gaye addicted to porn?
  9. We’ve all seen the movie–is it true that the backup girl singers for Ray Charles, the Raeletts, were called that because to be a Raelett, they had to “let Ray” have his way with them?
  10. Is Bryan Adams’ “Summer of ’69” really about performing the act of 69?
  11. I knew Bob Dylan and Joan Baez were lovers–but somebody told me she also had a fling with John Lennon! Is that true?