A Brief History of Ear Mutilation
“Unfortunately, the Italian postal system being what it is, the package took nineteen days to deliver.”
Timeline, circa September 1998.

Sir Francis Galton
“A raw egg broken into a boot before putting it on greatly softens the leather.”
Historical Q&A, circa 1998.

The Great Wall of China
“This wall was built not as a monument, but as a war machine.”
Travel article, circa 2002.

Alan Moore
“I think me and Mr. Normal parted company a considerable distance back.”
Interview, circa 2006.

Rating Futurists and Their Predictions
“Futurists fall out of print quickly, replaced by history books.”
Essay, circa 2000.

Shaun White
“I need a Crunk Juice glass with diamonds on it.”
Feature article, circa 2006.