Hello. I’m Gavin Edwards, the public speaker and the New York Times-bestselling author of The Tao of Bill Murray, the ’Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy series, and Kindness and Wonder: Why Mister Rogers Matters Now More Than Ever. If you’re interested in hiring me, click here for more information.

Friday Foto: Rage King

Two photos from lower Manhattan:

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posted 26 February 2010 in Photos. no comments yet

1988 Countdown #58: Paul Carrack, “Don’t Shed a Tear”

(New to the countdown? Catch up here.)

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Three ways to look at Paul Carrack’s career: (1) He’s a second-tier Brit singer for hire, working with middlebrow acts that ranged from the good (Squeeze) to the craptastic (Mike + the Mechanics). (2) All those painful collaborations with Roger Waters and Don Felder just subsidized Carrack’s secret calling as a hipster, letting him play keyboards with Roxy Music, Nick Lowe, the Pretenders, and the Smiths. (3) He’s part of a controlled experiment to show what Daryl Hall’s life would have been like if he had never met John Oates: a white soul singer with good chops who drifted from project to project, never finding a mustache to call his own.

We return from the commercial break to find Carrack sitting at an electric piano, playing a pretty good solo version of Mike + the Mechanics’ “Silent Running,” a #6 hit from 1986 that he sang lead vocals on. Given that the group is the side project of a Genesis guitarist, a certain amount of geeky sub-Heinleinisms might be expected in the lyrics, but really–“Believe in me / I’m with the high command”?

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We cut to Kevin Seal, sitting down in front of an electronic drum kit. “The very soulful Paul Carrack,” he says, “tinkling the plastics on our studio Korg Sampling Grand,” dutifully plugging the brand name. “Eighty-eight was a good year for Paul Carrack: he continued to get hits off his third solo album, he had a collection of hits put out, The Carrack Collection, which is some of his best work over the years from the many groups he’s been associated with. A new Mike and the Mechanics album came out, The Living Years, he plays on that, he’s going to go on tour in ’89. He was in that hit comedy, Buster. No, who am I thinking of?” Seal puts his palm against his forehead. “The other guy.”

When the video opens, a luscious young female model is behind the wheel of a large American car: several pearl necklaces hang from the rear-view mirror. She wearily leans her head back, and suddenly the image is one of two on the screen, framed by blotches of paint and the words “El Centro” and a crossed-out “North Shore 10/87.” The technology that made this possible is probably the same that was used to hang images on clothing lines in the Belinda Carlisle video, but the conceit here is that it looks like a fashion photographer’s diary with Polaroids pasted in–we’re just getting a peek at a beautiful girl wandering around California, just north of the Mexican border.

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The camera pans over a small sun-baked town. We get two simultaneous shots of the model, whose hair now looks darker–she’s wearing a man’s white shirt and not much else. In both close-up and a wide shot, she slams the door to a motel room.

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Then we’re inside the car, with the windshield wipers going: according to the handwriting on the screen, we are now in Indio, which is about eighty miles north of El Centro, on the other side of the Salton Sea (and coincidentally, next to Coachella of festival fame). Two video panels show similar vistas of California desert. The model drives. She rests her left knee against the car door and doesn’t pay much attention to the road.

Carrack starts singing, and twenty-five seconds in, the director can no longer avoid the fact that his video is supposed to star a thirty-seven-year-old semi-fashionable Brit with thinning hair. Carrack stands in front of a pier, wearing what appears to be a black-and-yellow varsity jacket, and aggressively bobbing his head.

The model gets out of the car. It’s a big orange American mid-century boat of a vehicle. She preens in a gas station parking lot, in front of a hand-made sign promising ice-cold beer and soda and (presumably room-temperature) cigarettes. She looks like she’s waiting for somebody to deliver whatever water was fashionable for two weeks in early October 1987. If this video had been made today, she’d be on her cell phone.

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Carrack keeps singing. He looks like the cool dad at the high-school basketball game. Somebody’s given him a microphone on a stand, which helps sell the notion that he’s not just some guy who wandered on camera at the video shoot. Carrack stops the head-bobbing and moves his shoulders forward rhythmically, one at a time, switching from side to side as if he were a Raelett.

The model wanders around aimlessly, through the plastic strips of an unused car wash. She checks herself out in a mirror, and then gets in the car and drives some more. We next see her on a beach, peering around with one hand shielding her eyes from the sun. For no apparent reason, she starts running on the sand, revealing that she’s wearing a tight black sleeveless top and sheer black stockings. Despondent over her failure to pack appropriate beachwear on her vacation, she falls to her knees in the sand.

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In most of this video, there’s two shots going on simultaneously, usually of the model, but sometimes Carrack elbows his way in too. Model outfit #4: black dress with white polka dots, with a flimsy black scarf wrapped around her head. She stands around someplace vaguely industrial, with puddles and telephone poles. The wind blows in her hair, and then she covers her face with the scarf.

This song, by the way, is utterly forgettable. Neither the melody nor the lyrics (a kiss-off to a bad love affair) are memorable, and the whole thing is so overproduced, it just slides off your ears and makes a nasty stain on your shirt. Carrack’s sings, “Don’t shed a tear for me / My life won’t end without you,” but the model looks like she’s having a good time, not giving him a second thought.

Carrack reaches the bridge: the director takes the opportunity to do a quick montage of all the model’s various outfits so far. Then the model pulls up to what appears to be the takeout window of a closed Dairy Queen. She gets out of the car, now wearing a spaghetti-strap little black dress, and leans against the DQ, tossing her hair around, wondering why nobody’s bringing her food.

We head for the fade, and the model is asked to look tearful, presumably to tie her experiences in with the title. It doesn’t work, partially because she’s not a very good actress, partially because it makes more sense for this bad-news betty not to care, partially because Carrack looks more like her dad than her estranged lover.

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The video ends with the model dangling a pair of pants that have been lit on fire. They’re burning pretty well, so they’ve been soaked in gasoline–or they’re polyester and she’s about to keel over from the fumes. She dangles them from her right hand, then tosses them towards the car. You get the feeling that the director’s original treatment said the car would blow up in a spectacular fireball, but the video didn’t have the budget.

“Don’t Shed a Tear” peaked at #9 on the Billboard charts. You can watch it here.

posted 25 February 2010 in 1988. 7 comments

Friday Foto: Flipwalk #48

Never let it be said I don’t finish what I start: this is the last photo in the flipwalk project.

I’ve been working on this for almost six years–admittedly, with some long gaps along the way.

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As usual, the above is just a teaser image; for the full picture and the story of how I got there, click here.

In coming weeks, I’m planning to tote up some of the data from the 48 walks. I may also try a Los Angeles flipwalk, although I’m not sure the project directly translates here.

When I went on flipwalk #48, I didn’t know that it was going to be the last one in the project, but I’m glad I ended up in one of my favorite places in New York (Battery Park) looking at the work of one of my favorite public artists (Tom Otterness). Downtown Manhattan was a place of great sorrow for me, but it was also a place of great joy. Thank you all for walking with me.

posted 19 February 2010 in Photos. no comments yet

1988 Countdown: Commercial Break #17

(New to the countdown? Catch up here.)

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A scrap of paper isolated on a black screen has the single typed word “sexy.” It’s followed by two quick flashes of dancing bodies–a little bit of skin, and a whole lot of fringe.

Then we get a closeup on a light-skinned black woman, speaking with a British accent–why, that’s Downtown Julie Brown! This must be a promo for Club MTV! She says, “There are certain people that, um, come up with steps that I would never even dream of.”

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Two scraps of paper: “the” and “Dancers.” A sweaty black guy pushes back his hair. Back to Julie: “People like R.J., who come up with some feisty little moves.” We see R.J., frantically stamping his right leg, and then a closeup on a girl’s bustier.

Another scrap of paper: “hot.” Back to Julie, who is wearing a black top hat and dangling silver star earrings: “There are a couple of people that I like to see dance together.” We get a quick clip of two people of indeterminate gender dancing, one light-skinned, one dark-skinned. Back to Julie: “It’s nice to see guys up there, freaking out.” She continues talking over more quick edits of dancers: “It’s nice to see the guys going up there and baring all. With their chest out and stuff.” Back to Julie, now grinning. “I like that.”

The promo ends with the Club MTV logo. In case you never saw it, Club MTV was a dance-party show that featured Downtown Julie Brown introducing the club singles of the day while teenagers danced to them: basically, American Bandstand with a modern haircut. It was much less stylish than this promo, mostly because Brown was a ditz who liked to say “wubba wubba wubba” a lot.

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Again, the ad for the License to Drive videocassette. One of the Coreys (Haim, I think, although I can’t rule out Feldman) lays out the plot: “An innocent girl. A harmless drive. What could possibly go wrong?”

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Next up, the hugely insane Coca-Cola ad featuring robots and Earth, Wind and Fire. The lyrics to the funky EWF jingle: “The feeling’s real / You know it can’t be beat / Get started to the system / You can feel it in your feet / Owww! / The taste is live / Feel the magic that it brings / The ultimate sensation when you’ve got the real thing / Coca-Cola Classic / You can feel it / Can’t beat the feeling!” Get started to the system?

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Gillette, once more promising that they are the best a man can get, have another in their series of ads that blend European footage with some new American shots. Quick cuts: guys in tuxes, woman adjusting man’s tie, man on phone pumping fist in victory, guy running track and dripping with sweat, hero shot of AtraPlus razor, man putting shaving cream on his young son’s face, just-married couple heading for limo but interrupted by hug from groom’s father, football team scoring touchdown, father spotting young son as he lifts five-pound barbell, father and young son combing hair together in mirror, older guy dropping car keys in younger guy’s hand, father cradling infant son, and sweet mother of Christ, there’s only so much father-son bonding that one man can recap.

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Another videocassette ad: The Presidio, which starred Sean Connery and Mark Harmon. Connery appears to be over-acting while wearing a military uniform and a fake mustache, while Harmon gets head-butted by a criminal he’s trying to slap handcuffs onto. And somebody runs, and there’s an exploding upside-down car. Nobody gets started to the system.

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We end with a comedic bumper for MTV, featuring a tourist in a Russian airport, tied and gagged at customs, struggling while the Russian customs agents look through his suitcase. “Do you have anything to declare?” asks the female agent. “In this sock, you have other sock?” She breathes in the aroma of the sock. “Declare something!” she cries. This promo is pretty much the last gasp of Cold War humor: the following year, in November 1989, the Berlin Wall came down, and soon after, Yakov Smirnoff’s career was on the rocks.

posted 17 February 2010 in 1988. 5 comments

Apolo Mission

Eight years ago, right after the Salt Lake City Olympics, I interviewed short-track speed skater Apolo Ohno, providing some text to go along with a fashion spread. He was a friendly guy, showing off his medals to everyone at the Rolling Stone photo shoot–and the teeth mark from where he bit the gold medal to confirm that it was actually gold. Since then, Ohno’s brought his total number of medals up to six (earning another silver just last week)–and he won Dancing With the Stars.

A short excerpt from our conversation:

Where do you live now?

I live in the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs. It’s rent free, and they’ve got free food in the cafeteria. Everything we need. It’s like, dorm rooms. They’re nice rooms, but I could use some more space.

How did you decorate your room?

I’ve got a poster of Muhammad Ali, a poster of Crazy Horse of the Nez Perce tribe, and some meditation posters. And posters of lions–that’s my animal. I love big cats. We have a cat at home.

What kind?

A tabby.

Would you want your own tiger?

That’d be awesome. Let him have his own forest out back.

What’s always in your fridge?

Strawberry Quik. In the summer, me and all my friends go out for long bike rides. Everybody else takes water, but I bring two bottles of Strawberry Quik. It heats up in the sun, and it gets nasty. I always end up having to borrow somebody’s water bottle.

Do you remember your dreams?

Yeah. Recently, I dreamed that I was racing–but I was really, really, really old. So I was in my bed, skating around the rink. There was a whole bunch of us, we were all in beds, and we were constantly racing–but nobody ever won. I woke up and thought, What the hell?

(About half of the previous was published as part of “Apolo in Flight,” in issue 893 of Rolling Stone (April 11, 2002).)

posted 16 February 2010 in Articles. no comments yet

Friday Foto: On the Wall

Another picture atop the surprisingly battered Great Wall of China:

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posted 12 February 2010 in Photos. no comments yet

Son of Sam I Am

Another excerpt from the Andy Warhol Diaries:

Saturday, July 16, 1977

Son of Sam is still out on the loose, and that’s an old-style crime–notes to the police, an M.O., killer on the loose, all that. People seem sort of happy to see a pattern. Son of Sam is nostalgia, almost.

posted 10 February 2010 in Excerpts. no comments yet

God of Thunder

Gene Simmons has always been one of rock’s leading pitchmen: during the Super Bowl yesterday, he just happened to be pushing Dr. Pepper instead of a variety of Kiss-related merchandise. I was reminded of a “Rites of Passage” back-page interview I did with him for Details back in 1998, where he displayed his intelligence and his ego:

When I look in the mirror, I see a powerful and attractive man. Nobody else sees it, but I don’t give a shit. Fuck being humble! God, I love how this reads. I wish I could read it right away.

Simmons has had an interesting life: grew up in Israel, used to work at Vogue. I just added the interview to the archives; you can read it here.

posted 8 February 2010 in Archives, Articles. no comments yet

Friday Foto: Flipwalk #47

I’ve been working on the flipwalk project for almost six years now. The first time I left my house with a coin and a camera was back in July 2004: I walked for an hour, then stopped and took pictures of where I had ended up. I wasn’t sure what I had started, but it ended up being very important to me, even after I left downtown Manhattan for the other side of the country.

After fifteen months of photographs and fifty months of assembling the results, I’ve reached the penultimate flipwalk. When I was doing the walks, I tried not to look at my watch as the hour ran out, wanting to be surprised by the timer, not disappointed by having passed something that seemed particularly visual five minutes earlier. Now that the whole thing’s almost over, I’m trying not to look at my watch again.

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That’s a teaser image, of course. For the complete picture, and the story of how I got there, click here.

posted 5 February 2010 in Photos. no comments yet

1988 Countdown #59: Huey Lewis and the News, “Perfect World”

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A jaunty beat, a bunch of white guys on a peach-colored rooftop, and a closeup on a pair of zebra-print shoes: why, it’s Huey Lewis and the News! Huey Lewis was still having hits in 1988? Apparently so–and this wasn’t even his last top-forty single. Unlike countdown last-gaspers Pat Benatar and Kenny Loggins, he had four more hits, extending all the way through 1993.

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After the footwear closeup, we get some establishing shots of the band before turning our attention to Lewis. He’s got a jacket, a white shirt with oversized clasps, and a chin that looks like the child-size portion of Jay Leno’s. At age 38, his hairline’s starting to recede, but he’s marching in place like he owns that rooftop. With a triumphant fist pump, Lewis struts up to the microphone stand and sings, “Everybody’s looking for that perfect world.”

This song’s relentless mediocrity sent me back to the News’ greatest hits, to see if they were any better. (I listen so you don’t have to.) I liked Sports when I was a kid, and it’s better than “Perfect World,” but none of it holds up very well. The songwriting was the group’s strongest suit: at their best, they delivered catchy, well-crafted pop-rock songs. Lewis was a generic vocalist prone to husky shouting. The News were an okay bar band, and some of them get rock ‘n’ roll merit badges for playing on Elvis Costello’s My Aim Is True. As far as I can tell, Huey Lewis and the News got over on regular-guy bonhomie.

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“What you going to do when one and one makes three?” Lewis sings. He sells the hell out of this not-very-good lyric, flashing up one finger and then three, and looking alarmed by what he finds on his right hand. It’s genuinely amusing; Lewis wasn’t a very talented lead singer, but he did a good job as frontman, and his shrugging and mugging played well on MTV.

Lots of shots of the News–there’s five of them plus Lewis, all looking like middle management, or maybe grocery-store-owners. In the background, we can see rolling green hills, probably in the vicinity of the Bay Area. Lewis waggles his finger at the camera and then changes into a black polka-dot shirt, now appearing in the foreground so he can do some more finger-waggling. We cut to a sideways shot of Lewis and the two guitarists, stepping back and forth from their microphones–the angle that was pure accidental poetry for the final minute of “Found a Job” in Stop Making Sense. Here it’s more forced, an effort to do a white-man soul revue.

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At this point, a full minute and twenty seconds into the video, the MTV “Top 100 of 1988” logo appears in the upper left-hand corner, along with the #59 placement. This is supposed to appear at the same time as the credits block in the lower left-hand corner; i.e., about five to ten seconds after the clip starts. Somebody in MTV production (a) was asleep at the switch (b) couldn’t be bothered to roll the tape again to fix it.

A stray piece of newspaper flies across the set and onto the bassist. He heroically plays on. The keyboardist is rocking some crazy fringe on a black leather shirt. Lewis waggles his finger again! This time he’s looking into the camera as he sings “They’ll talk about you.” I would rank Lewis as #2 on the list of lead singers most reliant on hand gestures, behind only Cy Curnin of the Fixx, who always looked like he’d rather be doing a puppet show.

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More newspaper flies onto the set, this time landing on Lewis. Now he goes up to the lip of the “roof,” and we get an over-the-shoulder camera angle, revealing that he is actually singing to a vast garbage dump. Let’s give the band the benefit of the doubt and assume this wasn’t meant to be an expression of contempt for their fans. It’s a carefully groomed dump–lots of trash, but nothing too specific or unappetizing. Ah, a simpler time, when environmental concerns were more focused on waste disposal than global warming.

More trash flies at the band, and I wish we could see the production assistant who’s dropping the flotsam in front of a giant fan. Lewis ducks and gamely pretends to be surprised. We rotate through more shots of the band; this time around, there’s always a sea of trash in the frame. Lewis throws his microphone from one hand to the other and spins on his heel.

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A bulldozer plows through the trash. A band member (a New?) has switched to trumpet: actually, he’s playing two trumpets at the same time, and has four saxophones slung around his body. The lead guitarist grimaces as he plays the solo. The camera pulls back, revealing that the garbage is now dwarfing the “roof” that rests on top of it. The band sings merrily on top of a pile of trash, and then rides the bulldozer into the sunset, waving at the camera.

“Perfect World” went all the way to #3 on the Billboard charts. You can watch the video here.

posted 4 February 2010 in 1988. 4 comments