A lonely bugle plays over an image of Jon Bon Jovi–who’s looking morose, with his left hand on his cheek. Maybe Jon’s run out of bottles, and hence no longer knows what day of the week it is.

“Bon Jovi on the road,” says the Voiceover Guy. “They play their guts out.” The image changes from JBJ to fans going berserk in black and white; I think all this footage is taken from the “Wanted Dead or Alive” video. To demonstrate that it is indeed 1988, somebody holds up a lighter. We see the band taking a bow at the end of a concert. Voiceover Guy: “Then they move on. And where are they headed next?”

Over the backdrop of an American flag, there’s an inset color image of Jon Bon Jovi, surrounded by a sparkling golden circle. He’s wearing a black cowboy hat and pointing into the camera. “We’re coming to your town!” JBJ promises.

As the “Bad Medicine” synth part plays, Voiceover Guy continues, “MTV presents the Bon Jovi New Jersey tour, debuting January 26th in… Dallas. Watch for the dates for your town, because we’ll have them first. Plus exclusive road news, world premiere Bon Jovi videos, and a Bon Jovi contest in February!” We see close-ups of maps, and then some clips from the “Bad Medicine” video.

Cut to Bon Jovi in an MTV studio, saying in unison, “See us live and see us on MTV!” Only four of the five members are in this shot–maybe they ran out of Aqua Net just before they went on camera.

The next ad: “A serial killer has New York City by the throat….” Arrgh, it’s The January Man ad again. This makes the fifth airing so far. Thought for this airing: Was Kevin Kline one of the last American men able to pull off a mustache?

Michelob Dry: Another “What Dry Was / What Dry Is” spot. Different from the two previous spots, but the same general principle: hot, dusty scenes are replaced by a guy diving into the water and a sexy girl running her hands through her wet hair. “Michelob Dry: it’s brewed longer to start bold, finish clean, and refresh completely,” says the announcer, who doesn’t seem to understand that everybody’s looking at the girl.

“Heroes come in all sizes, but adventure doesn’t come any bigger than this.” Lots of half-baked swords-and-sorcery footage: an evil queen, a big castle, a midget. Why, it’s Willow, now available on videocassette! “At last, a family epic with a heart to match its spectacle.”

Another MTV bumper closes out the ad break: guys with colorful boxes on their heads while a breakbeat plays and animated graffiti scrolls by in the background.

posted 7 October 2008 in 1988 and tagged Ads, Bon Jovi, Michelob Dry, MTV, The January Man, Willow. no comments yet