Photographed on the Maine coast in December 2011. The sign was on the side of a lighthouse.

posted 20 January 2012 in Photos. 2 comments

A few years back, I discovered gold in my garage: three videotapes containing the 1988 year-end countdown on MTV. Since then, I’ve been working my way through the top 100 videos of that year, plus the commercials, the VJ breaks, and the cool animated snippets. The sixth batch of videos (not exactly “the sixth hour,” because the animated barking-dog break at the top of the hour came before the Belinda Carlisle clip):

#41: Belinda Carlisle, “Heaven Is a Place on Earth”

#42: Daryl Hall John Oates, “Everything Your Heart Desires”

#43: Information Society, “What’s on Your Mind (Pure Energy)”

#44: Terence Trent D’Arby, “Wishing Well”

#45: Phil Collins, “A Groovy Kind of Love”

#46: Eddie Money, “Walk on Water”

#47: Robert Plant, “Tall Cool One”

#48: George Michael, “Faith”

#49: Duran Duran, “I Don’t Want Your Love”

#50: Sting, “Be Still My Beating Heart”

Bonus video not actually on the countdown: Guns N’ Roses, “Paradise City.”

Ad time: Commercial Break #21, Commercial Break #22, Commercial Break #23, Commercial Break #24.

And the countdown’s previous hours: #51 to #60, #61 to #70, #71 to #80, #81 to #90, and #91 to #100.

posted 18 January 2012 in 1988. 3 comments

I heard you on the wireless back in ’52–or alternatively, on the cable TV while babysitting for the neighbors back in in ’82. Either way, I’m now allowed to tell you about the big project I’ve been keeping secret for the last few months: I am working on a book with Nina Blackwood, Mark Goodman, Alan Hunter, and Martha Quinn. Yes, the original MTV VJs. (Sadly, J.J. Jackson died in 2004.) They’re excellent people who went on a crazy ride in the ’80s, and I think the book (scheduled for 2013) is going to be awesome. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some Eddie Money videos to catch up on. (He played a vampire? Really?)

posted 12 January 2012 in Tasty Bits. 1 comment

(New to the countdown? Catch up here.)

The best commentary on “Heaven Is a Place on Earth” remains Niki Harris and Donna De Lory, backup singers for Madonna, captured in Truth or Dare doing vocal warm-ups by belting the song out while beating on their own chests to produce a warbly Minnie Mouse effect. (“Those girls annoy me,” Madonna responds.)

In the opening chorus of “Heaven Is a Place on Earth,” we hear the vapid title sentiment expressed three times, along with the companion sentiment “They say in heaven love comes first” (who says this? Yahweh’s marketing team? The Teletubbies?) and the unconnected thought “Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?”–a lyric that seems to be included only because of the songwriters’ difficulty in finding words that rhyme with “earth.”

Director Diane Keaton matches the awkwardness of songwriters Rick Nowels and Ellen Shipley. (Keaton also directed Carlisle’s “I Get Weak” clip, which has issues, but is not as much of a mess as this one.) Keaton’s introductory images are all of girls in gray smocks, white socks, and black domino masks, holding translucent Earth globes lit from within. It’s comically bad, like a parody of low-budget MTV surrealism. Splash! One of the globes falls in the water. In slow-motion, perhaps? But of course.

The Globe Squad, a phalanx of nine, thrust their globes up in the air. As the opening concludes and the guitars kick in, we cut between the camera zooming towards twenty-one globes arranged in a triangle, and Belinda Carlisle dancing. Well, really, Belinda Carlisle making dance-like movements while leaning against a wall, but she looks adorable (black bustier, purple shirt, good haircut) and seems enthusiastic, which counts for a lot.

As Carlisle starts to sing, we get a glimpse of her slow-dancing with some guy next to a reflective pool. Keaton turns off most of the lights, leaving just a diagonal stripe of light across Carlisle’s face. Carlisle responds by repeatedly singing to the wall and leaning her head to one side or the other, suffering from floppy head syndrome. We cut back to Carlisle singing “you lift me up in a wave of love”; she raises her arms, as if she were a flight attendant helpfully demonstrating how in the event of an emergency, you could lift up your fellow passengers in a wave of love.

Back to the Globe Squad, who are spinning around–and in a different shot, lying down, doing globe calisthenics. Cut to Carlisle, now obscured by a mesh screen. Keaton is clearly trying to make Carlisle into a figure of mystery, but it’s hard to turn a former cheerleader into Garbo.

The Globe Squad spins faster. We see that they’re inside a cylinder, pinned to the wall by centrifugal force (unless it’s centripetal force–I can never keep that straight), like they’re on a ride at Six Flags. Since they’re all dressed identically, they should really be acting out a kinescope animation. We also see some members of the Globe Squad watching the spinners through high glass windows. Maybe those are the ones in heaven?

More quick cuts between the Squad and Carlisle, ending with the illuminated globes spinning into blurry streaks of light. We dissolve to another spinning image: a grid of light and shadow that Carlisle whirls into. (New outfit: shoulderless black dress, with a purple fabric flower over her heart.) Carlisle keeps turning around and singing over her shoulders: somebody wants to make sure that her back gets equal time in this video.

Abrupt cut to an overhead shot: Carlisle is wedged into a thirty-degree corner. Since Keaton is basically shooting down Carlisle’s dress here, I guess she’s abandoned the whole Garbo approach. The globe splashes into the water again; the Globe Squad starts jogging in place, as if that will get them to the end of this video faster.

Carlisle keeps spinning and quasi-dancing. I find myself thinking of this video (and song) as something that was inflicted upon Carlisle, rather than something she was responsible for–which is both fannish and patronizing. We reach the bridge, during which Carlisle leans back blissfully on a bed while a guy kisses her neck and a black scrim obscures our vision.

What “Heaven Is a Place on Earth” has going for it: a catchy melody and (mostly enjoyable) bombastic pop production. What’s particularly annoying about it: the backing vocalists and the lyrics. I know it’s just trying to express the sentiment “let’s all be real happy,” but I can’t help but think that heaven on earth would transform this world into an unchanging theocracy. As it happens, Diane Keaton directed a lavish documentary in 1987 called Heaven, interviewing people on what they thought about the afterlife–presumably, that’s how she got this job, although you’d think after making a whole movie on the topic, she’d have a more interesting visual conception of heaven than “lots of glowing beach balls.”

A synthesized drum break, accompanied by the silhouette of a kiss (Carlisle and her handsome love interest). As we head to the fade-out, there’s lots of kissing, which is a boon–the whole video has felt impoverished, both in terms of budget and ideas, but the kiss looks like a genuine human connection.

“Heaven Is a Place on Earth” topped the singles charts (it’s Carlisle’s only #1 hit). You can watch it here.

posted 10 January 2012 in 1988. 12 comments

I have an article in today’s Los Angeles Times (my first for that fine publication), about Sub Pop’s unlikely but sustained success in the 21st century. If you live somewhere without easy access to the LA Times, I suggest you click here. If you just want some of the obscenity from executive VP Megan Jasper that couldn’t be printed in a family newspaper, here you go: asshole, fuck, shit, cocksucker, shit in my fucking pussy.

posted 8 January 2012 in Articles, Outside. 1 comment

Photographed this morning on the bike path next to the L.A. River.

The river, for once, was not totally dry. But it’s still goofy to have a bike path between a concrete channel and a major freeway–it feels like a parody of the great outdoors.

posted 30 December 2011 in Photos. no comments yet

My favorite albums of 2011:

1. Washed Out, Within and Without
2. Jay-Z and Kanye West, Watch the Throne
3. PJ Harvey, Let England Shake
4. TV on the Radio, Nine Types of Light
5. Radiohead, The King of Limbs
6. Wild Flag, Wild Flag
7. EMA, Past Life Martyred Saints
8. The Roots, Undun
9. Paul Simon, So Beautiful or So What
10. Beastie Boys, Hot Sauce Committee Part Two

How about you?

posted 29 December 2011 in Tasty Bits. no comments yet

Prince’s “Another Lonely Christmas,” a song about an obsession with a dead lover who died on Christmas, is both excellent and demented. It has qualities that distinguish it from the rest of Prince’s catalog: for example, it’s the only song of his I can think of where he gets goofy on alcohol (as opposed to sex or God): “I drink banana daiquiris til I’m blind.” But it’s also an unusual Christmas song for anybody, because it’s actually set on December 26 (as established by the opening lyric: “Last night I spent another lonely Christmas”). It’s really a Boxing Day song!

posted 27 December 2011 in Tasty Bits. 4 comments

Photographed recently on Hollywood Boulevard.

Only in Los Angeles. Thanks for reading; I hope your 2011 was all it should be, and that your 2012 will be even more.

posted 24 December 2011 in Photos. no comments yet

I have another piece in The New York Times Magazine: this one’s a conversation with David Fincher and his editing team of Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall, breaking down a four-minute sequence in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I’d always wanted to know more about editing: it’s an omnipresent but largely unconsidered aspect of what we watch. As the maxim has it, “editing is directing the movie for the second time.”

“The cutting room is this beautiful, tranquil place,” Baxter told me. “You get into this illusion that the film is yours.” The article will be a two-page spread this Sunday, or you can check out the slideshow version on the Times website now.

posted 15 December 2011 in Outside. no comments yet