I totally enjoyed the recent essay by Chris Molanphy (a friend of Rule Forty-Two) about Taylor Swift’s “Blank Spaces,” part of his excellent ongoing series for Slate on the songs that top the pop charts. This sentence jumped out at me:
It’s rare that a chart-topping hit’s title actually alludes to what the song itself sounds like—imagine if “When Doves Cry” were titled “Bass-less Confessional” or “Faith” called “Stuttering Rockabilly.”
This is more fun than imagining a world with no possessions! Restricting myself to #1 singles from the ’80s, I suggest Peter Gabriel’s “Recycled Otis Redding Riff” (originally “Sledgehammer”), Terence Trent D’Arby’s “Bloopy Synthesizer” (formerly “Wishing Well”) and UB40’s “Leaden Reggae” (né “Red Red Wine”). (In a perfect world, I would be a Photoshop wizard who could remake the single sleeves with their new titles. But I am not.)
So how would you rename other singles?