1. “Burger Klone,” the fast-food restaurant serving biker gangs and lines of zombie-like (presumably non-masturbating) customers.
2. “Uncle Siggy’s Masterbingo,” a game show hosted by Freud–Lauper is a big winner.
3. A cartoon landscape, brilliantly animated by Gary Panter of Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Mark Marek in a mode only slightly less realistic than Lauper herself.
4. A police station, where Lauper triumphantly breaks free from her handcuffs.
5. A large white staircase in the mode of a classic movie musical, where Lauper (in a white top hat) and dozens of extras do a rudimentary dance number.
(Correction on the animation credit courtesy of the great Gary Panter himself.) For insider Cyndi Lauper knowledge, including an up-close look at her journey into the heart of wrestling, check out VJ, the book I wrote with Nina Blackwood, Mark Goodman, Alan Hunter, and Martha Quinn, coming out May 7th. You can order it now from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Powell’s.